


kayak

by gayuris



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Angst, Character Death, M/M, References to Depression, Sad Ending, Stenbrough
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-08 02:00:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15920616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayuris/pseuds/gayuris
Summary: the story of how kayaking became a central part of stan's life





	kayak

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first oneshot! I was inspired by a trip I took over Labor Day Weekend where I went kayaking!

Stan Uris is six years old when he kayaks for the first time.

 

 

He sits on the porch and watches as his father, Donald, goes back and forth between the garage and the back of his SUV, making sure to grab everything necessary for their trip. 

 

 

Stan's mother, Andrea, makes her way outside to give the two some snacks for the day, handing Stan the paper bag and ushers her son over to the car, making sure to buckle him in before placing a kiss on his forehead.

 

 

Stan watches as his parents talk for a few minutes, both of them laughing at something Andrea said. Minutes later Donald opens up the driver's side door and climbs in, carefully shutting the door and starting the engine.

 

 

"You excited Stanley?" He asks, glancing in the rearview mirror to make eye contact with his son. Stan looks down at his lap, playing with one of the strings of a discarded hoodie in the seat next to him.

 

 

"What if I fall off the boat?" Stan asks timidly, looking up to see his father's eyes in the mirror.

 

 

"I'll dive in right after you," Donald chuckles, "You are going to be wearing a lifejacket, and if you happen to fall in I'll be there to get you, okay?"

 

 

Stan nods at his father's words and feels the corners of his mouth turn up into a smile. 

 

 

"Good," Donald hums, carefully backing out of the driveway. "Now let's get going."

 

 

* * *

 

 

The drive out to the Kenduskeag takes about 20 minutes. 

 

 

The radio plays an old Elvis song as Donald drives, periodically looking in the rear view mirror to check up on Stan.

 

 

Once the pair arrives and parks, they head to the back of the car. Donald grabs a pair of life vests and hands them to Stan to hold, while he grabs the boat and the snacks. 

 

 

They walk in silence down to the edge of the water, with Stan trailing behind his father watching as he sets the boat down and places the paper bag inside. He smiles at Stan and waves his hand over, beckoning the curly haired boy to the boat.

 

 

Stan hesitantly walks over as his father puts on his life vest, before handing the smaller orange vest to him. 

 

 

Stan slips his arms into the vest, getting some help from Donald with the buckles and straps. Stan smiles as he feels the vest hug him tightly, chuckling as his father leads him to the boat and helps him inside.

 

 

Stan feels the boat rock softly under him and worriedly grips the sides, eyes widening and breath shortening. Donald notices his son's reaction and steadies the boat before getting in. 

 

 

"I'm right here Stanny, I just have to get settled." He says, adjusting his long legs comfortably in the kayak before helping Stan to sit in the right spot. Once settled, Donald uses his paddle to push off of the edge, the boat floating out onto the water seamlessly as if it weighed nothing.

 

 

The yellow kayak glides across the top of the water, with Donald using his paddle to steer them out further from the coast and out towards the more open parts of the Kenduskeag.

 

 

Stan sits back in amazement as they progress down the water, the sound of cicadas serving as the otherwise quiet soundtrack to their day. Donald holds back a chuckle as Stan excitedly looks from side to side trying to take it all in.

 

 

"When I was your age," Donald starts, "My father brought me out here just like I'm doing now. I remember how beautiful the sky looked, it had just rained and the clouds were clearing out, but right across the sky were streaks of yellow and pink. It was the most amazing thing I had ever seen."

 

 

Stan nods as his father continues, taking in the blue sky above him. "I wanted to go out earlier that day, but my father refused because it was going to storm. He told me his two ground rules about kayaking that day," Donald says, "Can you guess what they are?"

 

 

Stan turns his head to face his father, his attention suddenly being torn away from a small cardinal that had flown across the river. 

 

 

Donald chuckles and places his double-sided paddle down. 

 

 

"He told me you never come out here by yourself, and that you never come out here in a storm." 

 

Stan nods again, turning to look back for more birds before feeling his father's soft grip on his shoulder. 

 

 

"Stanley, I want you to follow those rules too, okay?"

 

 

Stan turns again and feels the corners of his lips turn into a smile, flashing a toothy grin at his father. 

 

 

"I promise."

 

 

* * *

 

 

The Uris boys go kayaking quite frequently after the first time, with Stan wanting to go almost every day when Donald got home from work. 

 

 

After several trips after work where Donald ended up burned out after only paddling out, he tells Stan that they will save kayaking for weekends and special occasions. 

 

 

Stan agrees to this naturally, understanding where his father is coming from. 

 

 

His father is the local Rabbi in Derry, having lots of responsibilities for his congregation and community. Stan started to notice how tired his father would be when he returned home from work as they both got older, but never admitted that to his father.

 

 

They decided to plan out their kayak trips on the calendar hung up in the kitchen, making sure that Stan's school work and extracurriculars, with Donald's work and responsibilities not conflicting with their trips. 

 

 

They go on about three trips a month, with Stan now having his own kayak. 

 

 

Donald and Andrea decided to get it for him for his 14th birthday. 

 

 

They had never seen Stan so excited. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

The next memorable trip Stan and his father take isn't marked by amazing views or bird sightings, but by the presence of another person.

 

 

The morning of the trip, Stan starts his day out just like usual. 

 

 

He wakes up and gets dressed, pulling on a simple t-shirt and pair of shorts before slipping on a pair of old sneakers. 

 

 

He washes his face and brushes his teeth, making sure to fix his unruly golden curls before making his way downstairs.

 

 

He's nearly on the last step when he hears his mother talking to a woman he doesn't recognize.

 

 

Stan pears around the corner only to lock eyes with his mother, who is talking to a tall woman and what he assumes is her son. As soon as Andrea sees Stan, her face lights up and she beckons him over. 

 

 

"Stanley come here! I have someone here who wants to meet you!"

 

 

Stan awkwardly makes his way to the living room and stands with his mother, who wraps her arm around his shoulders lovingly.

 

 

"Stan, I'd like you to meet Bill. He's going to be coming with you guys today."

 

 

* * *

 

Stan doesn't remember storming out of the room and out to his father's car. 

 

 

He doesn't remember slamming the passenger door shut and climbing into the seat.

 

 

He doesn't remember the hot tears that spilled down his face and onto his shirt.

 

 

But he does remember his father sitting in the driver's seat and calming him down.

 

 

Donald had heard Stan run outside, the concerned voice of his wife coming from inside before being cut off by the front door slamming. He watched as his son, a now almost spitfire image of himself, climb into the old SUV and sulk.

 

 

He hesitantly put down his bag and moved to sit in the car, quietly closing the door and sitting in silence. He would let Stan talk first. 

 

 

After a few minutes of sniffles and silence, Stan speaks up.

 

 

"It's not fair."

 

 

Donald nods, quickly grabbing a tissue out of the glove box and handing it to his son.

 

 

"Why does he have to come with us? I don't even know him!"

 

 

Donald mulls over his response in his head. 

 

 

He remembers being woken up in the middle of the night to the sound of Andrea crying on the phone. 

 

 

He hurriedly pulled her into his embrace as she talked to the woman on the other end.

 

 

Sharon Denbrough.

 

 

Around 3 am Donald found out what had happened.

 

 

Andrea had ended the call after almost two hours, sharing quiet promises with Sharon over the phone before hanging up.

 

 

"Sharon's youngest son, Georgie, was abducted tonight."

 

 

Donald's heart dropped to his stomach as the words sank in. 

 

 

He knew the Denbroughs. Hell, he knew most residents of Derry, but the Denbroughs, he knew them quite well.

 

 

The couples had met at a birthing class. Both Sharon and Andrea had been pregnant, with Sharon due in 5 months and Andrea due in 7.

 

 

Sharon and Andrea hit it off from the start, which led to Zack and Donald getting close as well. They would attend classes, go out to restaurants and movies. 

 

 

The women had become so close. They would call each other in the middle of the night when they had cravings or mood swings. 

 

 

It was good to have a friend who is going what you are going through, Sharon thought.

 

 

But as their due dates became closer, the couples seemingly drifted apart. 

 

 

It didn't happen all at once, but slowly over time.

 

 

Both couples were hurt by the action, but soon became engrossed in preparation for their babies and their futures.

 

 

When Andrea asked if the Denbrough's eldest son could come on their trip, Donald agreed in a heartbeat.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The ride to the Kenduskeag was quiet.

 

 

Bill sat in the backseat, red blotches evident on his pale face from crying.

 

 

Donald told Stan briefly what had happened, and Stan agreed that it was best for Bill to come with them.

 

 

Once they arrived, Donald offered his kayak to Bill, saying that he would stay on land while the two went out. Stan shot his father a look of confusion at his proposal but brushed it off when he saw the smile on Bill's face when he grabbed the kayak.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The pair spent three hours out on the river.

 

 

At first it was quite awkward, with Stan not sure if he should paddle ahead or stay next to or behind Bill. 

 

 

But it was Bill who paddled next to Stan and had started talking.

 

 

"T-t-thank you f-for letting me c-come with you," The boy said, his stutter causing him trouble, as evident by the dissatisfied look on his face. Stan turn sto look at Bill and offers him a smile, "It's nice to have someone out here who can actually keep up with me," he chuckles, "Don't tell my dad but he is getting old."

 

 

This causes Bill to let out a loud snort, which sends Stan into a fit of giggles.

 

 

Maybe this wasn't too bad at all.

 

* * *

 

 

Stan and Bill get close that summer. 

 

 

They exchange numbers after their first trip, and Stan offers to help with anything Bill needs. Bill takes him up on his offer by asking if they could take a trip that next weekend. Stan agrees excitedly, saying that he can't wait to get back onto the water.

 

 

They spend almost every weekend like that. It became an unsaid agreement. Bill would show up early saturday and sunday mornings and Donald would drive them out to the water. The pair would spend the whole day out there, and even found a small outcove with a sandy patch of land where they could get out and stretch, and even sit down.

 

 

Stan had never had a real crush on anyone before. Not even "puppy love" crushes as his mother would say. But once he met Bill Denbrough, he fell head over heels for the auburn haired boy.

 

 

Bill stood a few inches taller than Stan, and was a bit stronger. He could easily pull both kayaks down from Donald's car and get them down to the water, while Stan could only handle one. 

 

 

Bill was slow to open up to Stan, which he understood. But over time he got to know the mysterious Denbrough boy.

 

 

He learned that his family was very close, and that he doesn't have a lot of friends. He goes to a private school on the other side of town, his mother insisting that it was best for him. 

 

 

He always would ask Stan about public school, about the teachers and students and of course his friends. 

 

 

Stan would always smile to himself when he talked about his friends, from Richie to Ben, he loved them all. Even Bill seemed to love them.

 

 

One saturday the boys are at the outcove, sitting side by side on the sand when Bill blurts out, "C-can I meet your f-f-friends?"

 

 

Stan chuckled at Bill's forwardness, which caught him off guard, but in a good way.

 

 

"Of course you can."

 

 

* * *

 

 

It was only right for the group to meet Bill down at the river. It was a safe space.

 

 

Bill stood awkwardly behind Stan as the group made their way down the hill and towards them.

 

 

"W-what if t-t-they don't like me?" Bill says nervously, causing Stan to turn around and grab Bill's hand comfortingly, pretending not to notice the way Bill's cheeks become rosy.

 

 

"They are going to love you I promi-"

 

 

Before Stan can finish, Richie runs over and tackles the blonde to the ground with a laugh. 

 

 

"I missed you Staniel!" The Tozier boys jokes, playfully ruffling Stan's hair and standing up, reaching a hand out to Bill.

 

 

"The name's Tozier. Richie Tozier," He laughs, earning a soft hit on the back of the head from Bev.

 

 

"You're scaring him dumbass," She retorts, helping Stan up and offering Bill a smile. "I'm Bev, and that's Richie."

 

 

Bill smiles back and nods his head. Ben, Mike, and Eddie all come over as well and introduce themselves, with each introduction seeming to make Bill's smile larger.

 

 

The group ends up hanging out for a couple hours, talking about homework, movies, and fellow classmates, with Richie's jokes getting laughs out of everyone, but the most from Bill.

 

 

When it starts to get late, Eddie says they should start heading home. Everyone seems to agree with that statement and starts to stand up, but they are stopped by Bill.

 

 

"Hey guys?" He says, "I just wanted to thank you for this," he smiles, looking around the group, "especially you Stan, you made this all possible. I've never had friends like you guys, I was always just labeled as a loser."

 

 

Bill lowers his head at the last part, looking down at his shoes and kicking some of the dirt in front of him.

 

 

He doesn't notice Richie walking over to him until a lanky arm is placed around his shoulders.

 

 

"Well Bill, welcome to the Loser's Club!"

 

 

* * *

 

 

The Loser's Club becomes a group of seven after that day, and they did everything together.

 

 

From trips to the movies or the mall, all seven losers were always present.

 

 

That included the day of Georgie's funeral.

 

 

Georgie's body was found without one arm near the end of the summer. 

 

 

Stan remembers how Bill had called him at 4 in the morning to tell him, almost not being able to talk with a combination of his stutter and his sobbing. Stan ended up biking over to Bill's and holding the auburn-haired boy until he fell asleep. 

 

 

The funeral was three days later. 

 

 

Stan arrived with his parents, who offered their condolences to the family and took their seats. Stan held back for a minute, turning to check on Bill.

 

 

Bill was not taking this gently. Stan remembered the stories Bill had told about Georgie, about how much he loved him and how lucky he was to have a baby brother. Stan was an only child and always would be, but he never wanted Bill to experience that.

 

 

So when Bill asked Stan to sit with him for the service, Stan agreed, once again taking Bill's hand comfortingly in his own before walking them to their seats.

 

 

* * *

 

Bill's parents ended up transferring him so he could go to school with his friends, it was the least they could do after what had happened weeks before. Bill didn't talk about that day, but instead made a paper boat and sailed it off into the river on one of the canoe trips.

 

 

On one particular day, the Loser's Club spends the entire day out onto the water. Mike takes the opportunity to try out paddleboarding, something that Stan had recommended to him, but he never had the time for. 

 

 

Ben and Bev watch from their spot on the shore as Mike stands on wobbly legs, with Stan in his kayak next to him giving him directions. Bill sits in his kayak a couple feet away, watching with a smile as Stan tried to help Mike, only to laugh when Mike falls in. 

 

 

Off in the distance, Eddie and Richie sit in an old tandem canoe, with Eddie in the back and Richie in the front. The Loser's can hear Eddie bickering with Richie about who is doing all of the work, which obviously is Eddie.

 

 

Once Mike gets the hang of it, he paddles off towards the canoe, only to watch it flip over. Stan rolls his eyes and chuckles softly, watching Eddie dunk Richie under the water. 

 

 

Bill coughs slightly to get Stan's attention and nods in the direction of the outcove. 

 

 

Stan gets the message and starts paddling, quickly turning it into a competition of who can get there first.

 

 

Bill gets there first, which Stan argues was because he chose to let him win but Bill just laughs.

 

 

The boys sit down on the sand and look out at the water. Its silent for a few minutes before Bill places his hand on top of Stan's.

 

 

Stan feels his face heat up into a blush, and he turns to look at Bill, who was already smiling at him.

 

 

"I j-just wanted t-t-to t-thank you for everything y-you did for me this s-summer," Bill says, "you are the kindest p-p-person I have ever m-met."

 

 

If Stan wasn't blushing before, he sure as hell was now.

 

 

Bill smiles and squeezes Stan's hand before leaning in and placing a sweet kiss one Stan's lips. 

 

 

The kiss is short, and both boys blush heavily when they seperate.

 

 

"That was-" Bill starts, only to be interrupted by Stan,

 

 

"Amazing."

 

 

* * *

 

 

Sophomore year goes by quickly. 

 

 

With Bill now at school with the others, he was able to see them every day.

 

 

See Stan every day.

 

 

Stan.

 

 

After the kiss, the two talked about what they were. 

 

 

They talked it out down by the water as expected, and both decided they wanted to be with each other. They decided to tell the other Loser's of course, to which they got "we know" from. They decided to keep their relationship a secret besides that, scared about what others at their school might do.

 

 

At school, they acted as just friends, ones who would joke around and place an arm around each other's shoulders.

 

 

But with the Loser's they could be each others.

 

 

Be themselves.

 

 

* * *

 

 

One day the two decide to walk along the Kenduskeag instead of kayaking.

 

 

A cool spring breeze blows through the air as the two walk along the water, fingers intertwined. It's just the two of them today, the rest of the Loser's seeming to have homework or practices to go to.

 

 

Stan smiles as they walk down the river bank, taking in the beautiful scenery and the beautiful boy next to him.

 

 

His beautiful boy.

 

 

Stan looks across the water and gasps as he sees a Greater Scaup swim across the river and as he turns to point it out to Bill, he is met with Bill's lips on his. 

 

 

Stan gasps into the kiss and closes his eyes, moving his hands to rest around Bill's neck, using his fingers to tug at some of the auburn strands of hair on his nape.

 

 

Bill smiles further into the kiss, gently backing Stan up against a tree and deepening the kiss, which leads to a soft moan from Stan's lips. 

 

 

The two stay like that for a few minutes, taking in each other's company when they are interrupted by a loud shout.

 

 

"HEY!"

 

 

Stan and Bill separate immediately faces flushed and eyes widening in fear as they turn to face whoever was there.

 

 

Henry Bowers and his gang.

 

 

_ Shit. _

 

 

It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out how this was going to go. 

 

 

Henry smirked at the sight of the two Loser's and started advancing towards them with his crew close behind.

 

 

Stan clutched onto the material of Bill's short in fear, only to have Bill push him off. Stan shoots him a confused look but Bill shakes his head. 

 

 

"Run!" Bill exclaims, "Get out of here, I'll take care of this!"

 

 

Stan shakes his head in protest, giving Bill a pleading look.

 

"Go, Stan! Get out of here!" Bill shouts, lightly shoving Stan away.

 

 

Stan bites his lip and nods, taking off towards the road and not looking back.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Stan went into a panic as soon as he got home that night, calling the Loser's and telling them what had happened. The group had rushed over to Stan's and consoled him, with Richie going to the Denbrough's.

 

 

When Richie turned back up an hour later, Stan knew things weren't good.

 

 

Richie said that the group was not allowed to contact Bill.

 

 

Stan fell to his knees and began to sob.

 

  
_ This was all my fault,  _ he thought, feeling the arms of the other Loser's bring him into their embrace.

 

* * *

 

 

Stan doesn't hear from Bill for three days.

 

Three whole days.

 

When Bill finally calls Stan, Stan breaks down.

 

He sobs on the line for a full five minutes, before gathering himself and quieting down. The line stays silent and Stan beings to think the call dropped until he hears a cough on the other side.

 

"My parents sent me off to a boarding school in New Hampshire."

 

* * *

 

When the Denbrough's found their son beaten within an inch of his life, they were scared. 

 

They talked in hushed voices as Bill slept in a hospital bed, agreeing that sending him far from Derry would keep him safe.

 

It would keep their remaining son alive.

 

When Bill had woken up, they gently told him of their plan.

Yes, there were tears, and yes Bill fought against it.

 

He finally had an amazing group of friends and he had his first boyfriend, how could his parents be so cruel as to take that all away from him?

 

His parents promised he could come home over breaks and visit, but that they wanted him to be safe.

 

When Bill was discharged, he came home to discover all of his belongings had been packed and placed in the car. 

* * *

 

 

 

That night his father drove him to the school.

 

 

It was a three-hour drive spent in silence, as Bill felt himself cry every time he thought of Stan.

 

 

How was he going to get through this?

 

* * *

 

 

There isn't much reception at the boarding school, so Bill writes Stan letters.

 

 

In the first letter, he pours his heart and soul out into it.

 

 

He writes of what happened and why he was lucky it was him and not Stan being hurt so bad by Bowers.

 

 

A few stray tears fall onto the letter and stain it, causing some of the ink to flow, but Bill couldn't care any less. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Stan receives the letter three weeks later and sobs.

 

 

Things haven't been the same since Bill left.

 

 

He feels like he has a hole in his heart. 

 

 

He feels incomplete.

 

 

The Loser's were affected as well, but not in the same way as Stan.

 

 

They noticed how he withdrew from his normal routines, ones that he had put in place and regimented.

 

 

They noticed the blank look on his face and the sadness in his eyes, and it broke their hearts.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Stan and Bill exchange letters for the remaining months of the school year, with Bill promising to return home in the summer.

 

Stan counts down the weeks, the days, the hours and even the minutes until Bill's return.

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

The day of the return Stan waits on Bill's porch, surrounded by the other Loser's. 

 

 

As soon as Zack Denbrough's truck pulls up Stan nearly jumps out of his skin, standing up and sprinting to the passenger side door. 

 

 

Bill swings the door open and pulls Stan into his arms, holding him as if he would never see the blonde again.

 

 

They stay like that for a while, holding each other close, their bodies shaking in sobs.

 

* * *

 

 

Bill tells Stan that he's only staying for two weeks.

 

Sure Stan is shocked. Hell, he's pissed.

 

He hasn't seen his boyfriend in months, and then barely has any time with him.

 

But Stan takes a deep breath and says they will make the best of it.

 

* * *

 

 

The next two weeks are spent with the entire Loser's Club. 

 

 

They have sleepovers every night and travel all throughout Derry.

 

 

Stan tries to stay in the moment and enjoy the time they have together, but his mind keeps drifting to the thought of Bill's departure.

 

 

Bill can sense this, squeezing Stan's hand every few minutes on their different outings, just to remind him that he's actually here.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Bill's last day is spent alone with Stan by the water. 

 

The pair had paddled out to the outcove earlier that afternoon and were sat in the sand, Stan's head in Bill's lap, Bill soothingly playing with Stan's hair.

 

Most of the day has been silent, both boys knowing what happens tomorrow.

 

They sit and watch as the sun sets in front of them, and Stan can't help but let a tear fall down his face and onto Bill's shorts.

 

Bill pretends not to notice it, or the tears that cloud his own vision.

 

* * *

 

 

Stan knows something isn't right when his letters go unanswered for a few weeks.

 

He tries calling Bill, but always reaches his voicemail.

 

Bev says that he must be busy, with being secluded at this school, but agrees that it isn't like Bill at all. Richie agrees as well and tells Stan that he can't let this affect his whole life.

 

This leads to a heated argument between both boys, with Bev holding Stan back as he screams at Richie.

 

After that day, no one brings up Bill.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Two weeks after the fight, a letter comes through. 

 

 

Stan tears it open excitedly and runs to the phone, ready to tell the others about this great news.

 

 

As Stan unfolds the letter, he smiles at the bad handwriting he was used to.

 

 

_ My dearest Stanley, _

 

 

_ I'm so sorry I haven't written back to you in so long. You must hate my guts. The reason I haven't responded is that I have been getting myself out and about at school. When I first got here, I  _

 

 

_ shut myself off from everyone else and cried myself to sleep every night. But after seeing you, I felt like I was in such a better place, and I wanted to get better. So I've gotten out of my room  _

 

 

_ and have made a ton of friends! (The Loser's Club will always be number 1 though!) Maybe you can come out here and meet some of them! My best friend Audra is amazing! She is so sweet  _

 

 

_ and kind, and she reminds me of you. I have a feeling you would get along great. I just feel happier and better on campus, and I've decided to stay for my fall and winter break.  _

 

 

_ I know this ruins our plans for break, and I am truly sorry Stanny.  _

 

 

_ I love you dearly, _

 

 

_ Bill. _

 

 

When Stan reads and rereads the letter, he feels the air leave his lungs.

__

 

Fuck

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The letters once again come less frequently after that.

 

 

Of course, Stan had written back to Bill telling him that it was alright and that he was proud of him for branching out. He also mentioned something about how distance will make them stronger, and that when they reunite things will fall back into place.

 

 

But the Losers notice how things get worse.

 

 

Over the next few weeks, and even months, Stan falls back into the pattern of withdrawing from things that usually made him happy, like kayaking and hanging out with his best friends. 

 

 

The next letter Stan receives just makes things worse, and he tears it up when he's done reading it.

 

 

Bill had said that he was doing great and that he and Audra had gotten so close. Stan felt a ping of jealousy in his stomach for this Audra girl, and he didn't even know her. 

 

 

And to top it off, the letter didn't end in an  _ I love you _ , like all of the previous letters, and their replies.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Over the next month, the Losers helped Stan to get back into a sense of normalcy.

 

 

They came to check up on him and made sure that he knew that he could tell them anything. 

 

 

For the first time in a while, Stan felt truly loved.

 

 

In a month's time, Stan was socializing with his best friends in the world, going out to movies and driving around town late at night, going to 24-hour diners, and living the life of a regular Derry teenager.

 

Stan was so thankful for his friends. Every single one of them made him feel loved and cared for, and had brought him back to the person he was.

One morning after a group sleepover at Stan's, Stan decides to wake up early to catch the sunrise. He sneaks out of the living room where everyone was sleeping, Ben holding Bev to his chest and Mike and Richie each cuddled into a side of Eddie. Stan took a quick picture of the group and reminded himself to send it to the group chat later.

He quietly snuck outside and loaded his kayak and paddle into his car, before driving down the road he knew so well to the Kenduskeag.

Once parked, he dragged his trusty kayak down to the water's edge and gets in, using the paddle to push off and glide across the water.

The water was calm that morning, making it easier for Stan to get a good rhythm. On a good day you could still find someone on a boat, and the wake from their engine, if not careful, could send you flipping over.

Stan smiles as he saw the sun start to rise and he found a nice calm spot and settled. He pulled his paddle into the boat and sat back to watch the natural beauty ahead of him.

He swears he could have seen a dove fly over above, remembering something about their presence meaning there is a strong sense of peace. He chuckles to himself and brushes some of his golden curls out of his face and looks back at the sunrise, feeling the happiest he has in a long time. 

 

* * *

 

The Losers are woken up by a loud knock on the door, the faint sound of thunder rumbling in the background. 

 

Richie gets up first, only clad in his boxers, and walks to the front door. 

 

The other Losers sleepily try to listen to who Richie is talking to but jump when they hear Richie hit the ground.

 

The Losers jump up and run out to the doorway, only to be met with a sobbing Richie, who immediately is embraced by Mike and Eddie. 

 

Donald and Andrea run down the stairs as soon as they hear the commotion and feel their faces drop when they see Sheriff Bowers at their doorstep.

 

"Mr. Uris?" Sheriff Bowers says wearily, "I need you to come down to the station with me."

 

* * *

 

Stan's kayak was found first.

 

A mom on her daily morning run saw the yellow boat flipped over on the side of the Kenduskeag and ran down to check it out. She looked around and didn't see any sign of an occupant. She did the right thing and called 9-1-1.

 

A group of officers was on the scene in minutes, spreading out to cover more ground. While some officers looked in the water, a few backtracked on land. 

 

One officer cut through a particularly heavy patch of woods and ended up on the main road. He trailed down the gravel driveway for a few minutes before his eyes widened and he radioed for backup.

 

Several officers answered the call, including Sheriff Bowers. 

 

When Sheriff Bowers arrived on the scene, a dive team was being sent into the Kenduskeag. He walked under the crime tape and saw the vehicle that had been reported and felt his stomach drop. It belonged to Donald Uris.

 

Sheriff Bowers was smart, he knew that Donald was not our here kayaking, it was a sunday and he would have had to be at the synagogue a few hours later.

 

Bowers took a deep breath a pinched the bridge of his nose. 

 

It was Stanley Uris.

 

* * *

The ride to the station was too quiet.

 

The Loser's refused to sit in the lobby when they arrived, and The Uris's demanded they were allowed to come back with them for whatever this was. 

 

Bowers led them down a long hallway and said that they had found a body.

 

Andrea shook her head in disbelief. 

 

Stan knows better than to go out there alone, she thought to herself.

 

Andrea clutched Donald's hand tightly as they approached a window, of which a curtain was raised. 

 

There before them was their son.

 

His golden curls were still damp, some matted against his forehead, his skin much paler than usual. 

 

Andrea immediately turned and threw up, Donald pushing the Losers out of the room.

 

"Coroner says he drowned," Bowers says quietly, "There was a freak storm, it must have swept him over-"

 

"I don't want to hear about it!" Andrea cried, seeking her husbands embrace.

 

Her baby was gone.

 

* * *

 

To say the Losers were broken was an understatement.

 

The days, weeks, and months that followed were hell. The group split off and ignored each other, each finding ways that they were at blame.

 

Life without Stan just felt cruel. 

 

* * *

Things got better over time.

 

The Losers went to Temple and ate with the Uris's every sunday. 

 

The first time they got together was emotional. The group had to leave Temple early but still went to the Uris household after. They spent hours reminiscing and talking about the good memories, not wanting to burden themselves with the bad ones.

 

* * *

 

This continued every sunday throughout junior and senior year.

 

Towards the end of senior year, the dinners became less frequent, with college coming up and the Losers becoming much more busy.

 

But on the last sunday before they all left and spread across the country for college, they got together again at the Uris's house. 

 

They had dinner with Donald and Andrea, and spent the night in Stan's room.

 

Everything had been left untouched, all the pictures and notes on his desk from his folded laundry and made bed.

It was a safe space for all of them. 

 

That morning as everyone sat around the breakfast table, there was a knock on the door. Eddie got up to answer it, with Bev and Ben helping to clean up and Mike and Richie arguing about college mascots.

 

Eddie walked to the door and opened it, dropping his cup of coffee when he saw who was on the other side.

 

There stood Bill Denbrough. He was about a foot taller now, but he still looked the same.

 

The rest of the group had come out to see what the ruckus was and stopped in their tracks just like Eddie. 

 

Eddie's eyes widen and Bill shoots him an apologetic look. In his hands he held a bouquet of roses and a handful of letters. Eddie pretended not to notice the way Bill looked behind him and around him. He knew what he was doing. Who he was looking for.

 

"H-hi guys. I came b-by to s-s-ee Stan before h-he left. Is h-he here?"

 

Bill's words hurt like knives, while unintentional, they still hurt. Everyone behind Eddie turned to look away, they didn't want to be the one to say it. To make it real again.

 

Eddie takes a deep breath and finally makes eye contact with Bill.

 

"He's gone."

 

Bill tilts his head to the side in confusion. The sight breaks Eddie's heart, and he feels a stray tear tread down his cheek.

 

 

"W-what do y-y-you mean?"

 

Eddie feels more tears flow down his face, and he reaches a hand up to wipe them away. Everything seemed so fresh again. He tilts his head up and lets out another sigh.

 

"He's dead Bill."

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys liked this! This was something new and I worked super hard on it lol. As always, you can find me at my tumblr @/hxrringtons !


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